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Here is the E-Mail that Art read on the air last week. It comes
from Avis Latone (hawkwoman@thegrid.net):
Woman Power
As a post menopausal woman? say this...
Take all American women who are within five
years of menopause - train us for a few weeks,
outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas
masks, moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones,
chocolate, and canned tuna - drop us (parachuted,
preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan,
and let us do what comes naturally.
Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even
when doing standard stuff like grocery shopping
and paying bills, is formidable enough to make
even armed men in turbans tremble.
We've had our children, we would gladly suffer
or die to protect them and their future. We'd
like to get away from our husbands, if they
haven't left already. And for those of us who
are single, the prospect of finding a good man
with whom to share life is about as likely as
being struck by lightning. We have nothing to
lose.
We've survived the water diet, the protein
diet, the carbohydrate diet, and the grapefruit
diet in gyms and saunas across America and
never lost a pound. We can easily survive
months in the hostile terrain of Afghanistan
with no food at all!
We've spent years tracking down our husbands or
lovers in bars, hardware stores, or sporting
events...finding bin Laden in some cave will be
no problem.
Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan
in a new government? Oh, please ... we've
planned the seating arrangements for in-laws
and extended families at Thanksgiving dinners
for years ... we understand tribal warfare.
Between us, we've divorced enough husbands to
know every trick there is for how they hide,
launder, or cover up bank accounts and money
sources. We know how to find that money and we
know how to seize it ... with or without the
government's help!
Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women.
Imagine their terror as we crawl like ants with
hot-flashes over their godforsaken terrain.
I'm going to write my Congresswoman. You
should, too!
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